But whether you stay or go, the critical decision you can make is to stop letting your partner distort the lens of… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“On some level he hopes that his ability to transport you sexually will tie you to him, so that he can have… — Lundy Bancroft Faith Copy Share Image
“When people conclude that anger causes abuse, they are confusing cause and effect. Ray was not abusive because he was angry; he… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“Abuse doesn’t come from people’s inability to resolve conflicts but from one person’s decision to claim a higher status than another. So… — Lundy Bancroft Elementary school Copy Share Image
Few people are aware of the severe human rights violations committed daily by family court judges across the country. These courts are… — Lundy Bancroft Abusers Copy Share Image
“The woman knows from living with the abusive man that there are no simple answers. Friends say: “He’s mean.” But she knows… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“In short, the abusive mentality is the mentality of oppression.” — Lundy Bancroft Abusive Men Copy Share Image
“When we hear these kinds of excuses from a drunk, we assume they are exactly that—excuses. We don’t consider an active alcoholic… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“Abuse is not his goal, but control is, and he finds himself using abuse to gain the control he feels he has… — Lundy Bancroft Goals Copy Share Image
“The central attitudes driving Rambo are: Strength and aggressiveness are good; compassion and conflict resolution are bad. Anything that could be even… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“HE ISN’T ABUSIVE BECAUSE HE IS ANGRY; HE’S ANGRY BECAUSE HE’S ABUSIVE.” — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“The symptoms of abuse are there, and the woman usually sees them: the escalating frequency of put-downs. Early generosity turning more and… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“ALCOHOL HAS NO BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION TO ABUSE OR VIOLENCE Alcohol does not directly make people belligerent, aggressive, or violent. There is evidence… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“The central attitudes driving the Terrorist are: You have no right to defy me or leave me. Your life is in my… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“Boys’ aggressiveness is increasingly being treated as a medical problem, particularly in schools, a trend that has led to the diagnosing and… — Lundy Bancroft Ableism Copy Share Image
“Have you ever noticed that people sometimes quit a job soon after returning from a vacation? We all have a higher tolerance… — Lundy Bancroft Freedom Copy Share Image
“He knows he used to be able to control you with charm, affection and promises. He also remembers how well intimidation or… — Lundy Bancroft Love Copy Share Image
“Friends say: “He’s mean.” But she knows many ways in which he has been good to her. Friends say: “He treats you… — Lundy Bancroft Another chance Copy Share Image
“Objectification is a critical reason why an abuser tends to get worse over time. As his conscience adapts to one level of… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
The central attitudes driving the Demand Man are: It's your job to do things for me, including taking care of my responsibilities… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
One of the prevalent features of life with an angry or controlling partner is that he frequently tells you what you should… — Lundy Bancroft Abusive Copy Share Image
“Children do best when parents are neither overly strict nor overly permissive, providing firm structure but also allowing for dialogue, respectful conflict,… — Lundy Bancroft Children Copy Share Image
“Each human being deals with hurt or resentment in a unique way. When you feel insulted or bullied, you may reach for… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“Almost no abuser is mean or frightening all the time. At least occasionally, he is loving, gentle, and humorous and perhaps even… — Lundy Bancroft Compassion Copy Share Image
“Outside of my professional life, I have known many couples over the years who had passion and electricity between them and who… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
