Men Quotes by Lundy Bancroft

9 Men quotes by Lundy Bancroft

Lundy Bancroft’s concise prose tackles the subject of men head‑on, delivering nine clear, grounded reflections that feel both earnest and accessible.

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Never believe a man's claim that he has to harm his partner in order to protect her; only abusers think this way.

Lundy Bancroft

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Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once.

Lundy Bancroft

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“It is fine to commiserate with a man about his bad experience with a previous partner, but the instant he uses her…

Lundy Bancroft

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“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as…

Lundy Bancroft

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The central attitudes driving the Demand Man are: It's your job to do things for me, including taking care of my responsibilities…

Lundy Bancroft

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“It is important to note that research has shown that men who have abusive mothers do not tend to develop especially negative…

Lundy Bancroft

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Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once. If he raises a fist; punches…

Lundy Bancroft

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Disrespect also can take the form of idealizing you and putting you on a pedestal as a perfect woman or goddess, perhaps…

Lundy Bancroft

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“One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don’t seem like abusers. They have…

Lundy Bancroft

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More by Lundy Bancroft

But whether you stay or go, the critical decision you can make is to stop letting your partner distort the lens of your life,…

Lundy Bancroft

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“On some level he hopes that his ability to transport you sexually will tie you to him, so that he can have power over…

Lundy Bancroft

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“When people conclude that anger causes abuse, they are confusing cause and effect. Ray was not abusive because he was angry; he was angry…

Lundy Bancroft

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“Abuse doesn’t come from people’s inability to resolve conflicts but from one person’s decision to claim a higher status than another. So while it…

Lundy Bancroft

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Few people are aware of the severe human rights violations committed daily by family court judges across the country. These courts are siding over…

Lundy Bancroft

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“The woman knows from living with the abusive man that there are no simple answers. Friends say: “He’s mean.” But she knows many ways…

Lundy Bancroft

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“In short, the abusive mentality is the mentality of oppression.”

Lundy Bancroft

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“When we hear these kinds of excuses from a drunk, we assume they are exactly that—excuses. We don’t consider an active alcoholic a reliable…

Lundy Bancroft

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“Abuse is not his goal, but control is, and he finds himself using abuse to gain the control he feels he has a right…

Lundy Bancroft

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“The central attitudes driving Rambo are: Strength and aggressiveness are good; compassion and conflict resolution are bad. Anything that could be even remotely associated…

Lundy Bancroft

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“HE ISN’T ABUSIVE BECAUSE HE IS ANGRY; HE’S ANGRY BECAUSE HE’S ABUSIVE.”

Lundy Bancroft

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“The symptoms of abuse are there, and the woman usually sees them: the escalating frequency of put-downs. Early generosity turning more and more to…

Lundy Bancroft

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“ALCOHOL HAS NO BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION TO ABUSE OR VIOLENCE Alcohol does not directly make people belligerent, aggressive, or violent. There is evidence that certain…

Lundy Bancroft

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“The central attitudes driving the Terrorist are: You have no right to defy me or leave me. Your life is in my hands. Women…

Lundy Bancroft

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“Boys’ aggressiveness is increasingly being treated as a medical problem, particularly in schools, a trend that has led to the diagnosing and medicating of…

Lundy Bancroft

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