Abuse Quote by Lundy Bancroft
““YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER. One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.””
About This Quote
Source Book: No More Mr Nice Guy, Dr. Robert Glover, 2000
Abusive partners deny victims the right to feel anger, using it against them to maintain control.
In simple terms: Abusers silence your anger to keep power.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and validate your anger as a healthy response.
Themes
abuse
control
emotional health
Mood
frustrated
empowered
hopeful
Type
advice
educational
psychological
When to use this quote
- therapy sessions
- support groups
- personal journaling
- self‑care routines
Key Concepts
power dynamics
gaslighting
psychological manipulation
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you safely express anger without escalation?
- What support systems can help you reclaim your voice?
A Different Perspective
The quote may oversimplify complex trauma dynamics and ignore systemic factors.
