Abusers thrive on creating confusion, including confusion about the abuse itself. — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
Abuse and respect are diametric opposites: You do not respect someone whom you abuse, and you do not abuse someone whom you… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“If you are aware of chronic or severe mistreatment and do not speak out against it, your silence communicates implicitly that you… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“THE ABUSER’S PROBLEM IS NOT THAT HE RESPONDS INAPPROPRIATELY TO CONFLICT. HIS ABUSIVENESS IS OPERATING PRIOR TO THE CONFLICT: IT USUALLY CREATES… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
Disrespect also can take the form of idealizing you and putting you on a pedestal as a perfect woman or goddess, perhaps… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once. If he raises a fist; punches… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“An abuser's behavior is primarily conscious – he acts deliberately rather than by accident or by losing control of himself – but… — Lundy Bancroft Habits Copy Share Image
“The abusive man’s high entitlement leads him to have unfair and unreasonable expectations, so that the relationship revolves around his demands. His… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“Although the typical abusive man works to maintain a positive public image, it is true that some women have abusive partners who… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER. One of the basic human… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“The central attitudes driving Mr. Sensitive are: I’m against the macho men, so I couldn’t be abusive. As long as I use… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“It is important to note that research has shown that men who have abusive mothers do not tend to develop especially negative… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
Objectification is a critical reason why an abuser tends to get worse over time. As his conscience adapts to one level of… — Lundy Bancroft Abusers Copy Share Image
“I am often asked whether physical aggression by women toward men, such as a slap in the face, is abuse. (..) Men… — Lundy Bancroft Slap in the face Copy Share Image
“I have sometimes said to a client: “If you are so in touch with your feelings from your abusive childhood, then you… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don’t seem like abusers. They have… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“The central attitudes driving the Player are: Women were put on this earth to have sex with men—especially me. Women who want… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“Encourage the women in your life—your friends, sisters, mothers, daughters—to insist on dignity and respect, to have faith in themselves, to be… — Lundy Bancroft Dignity and respect Copy Share Image
“It is fine to commiserate with a man about his bad experience with a previous partner, but the instant he uses her… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
Never believe a man's claim that he has to harm his partner in order to protect her; only abusers think this way. — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
An abuser can seem emotionally needy. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“Our society should not buy into the abusive man's claim that holding him accountable is an act of cruelty.” — Lundy Bancroft Abusive Man Copy Share Image
“When a man’s face contorts in bitterness and hatred, he looks a little insane. When his mood changes from elated to assaultive… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
The central attitudes driving the Water Torturer are: You are crazy. You fly off the handle over nothing. I can easily convince… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“An abuser can be thought of not as a man who is a "deviant," but rather as one who learned his society's… — Lundy Bancroft Copy Share Image
