Abuser Quote by Lundy Bancroft
““He knows he used to be able to control you with charm, affection and promises. He also remembers how well intimidation or aggression worked at other times. Now both of these tools are losing their effectiveness, so he tries to increase the voltages. He may switch erratically back and forth between the two like a doctor who cycles a patient through a range of antibiotics, trying to find the one that will get the infection under control. And the analogy is an apt one, because an abuser sees his (ex-) partner's growing strength and independence as a sickness rather than as the harbinger of health that it actually is.””
About This Quote
Source Book: Why Does He Do That?, 2007
Abusers lose effectiveness of charm and intimidation, escalating to harsher tactics as victims gain strength.
In simple terms: Abusers intensify abuse when control weakens.
Key Takeaway
Recognize escalation patterns to intervene early.
Themes
abuse dynamics
power
control
escalation
Mood
urgent
empathetic
Type
educational
preventive
When to use this quote
- counseling
- legal intervention
- support groups
- education programs
Key Concepts
psychological manipulation
victim empowerment
cycle of abuse
Questions to Reflect On
- What signs indicate an abuser is escalating?
- How can victims strengthen independence safely?
A Different Perspective
Escalation may become dangerous; intervention is urgent.
![“The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/e10/gary-chapman-1325_abuser_the-getting-out-part-of-advise-may-well_178102.jpg)
