Abuse Quote by Lundy Bancroft
““I have sometimes said to a client: “If you are so in touch with your feelings from your abusive childhood, then you should know what abuse feels like. You should be able to remember how miserable it was to be cut down to nothing, to be put in fear, to be told that the abuse is your own fault. You should be less likely to abuse a woman, not more so, from having been through it.” Once I make this point, he generally stops mentioning his terrible childhood; he only wants to draw attention to it if it’s an excuse to stay the same, not if it’s a reason to change.””
About This Quote
Source Interview: Clinical Psychology Podcast, 2019
The speaker argues that personal trauma does not excuse future abusive behavior; accountability outweighs victimhood.
In simple terms: Trauma isn’t a justification for harming others.
Key Takeaway
Take responsibility for actions despite past pain.
Themes
accountability
trauma
abuse
personal growth
Mood
reflective
serious
Type
ethical
therapeutic
When to use this quote
- therapy sessions
- self‑reflection
- relationship counseling
- legal testimony
Key Concepts
psychology
ethical responsibility
empathy
Questions to Reflect On
- How can we separate empathy for trauma from condoning harmful actions?
- What supports help break abusive patterns?
A Different Perspective
Victims may still repeat cycles without intervention.
![“In a healthy environment, increased threat sensitivity, poor emotion control and enhanced fear memory in MAOA-L [i.e., the “warrior” variant] men might only manifest as variation in temperament within a ‘normal’ or subclinical range. However, these same characteristics in an abusive childhood…” quote by Robert M. Sapolsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/754/robert-m-sapolsky-1166_decision-making_in-a-healthy-environment-increased-threa_846385.jpg)
