Abuse-recovery Quote by Lundy Bancroft
““When a man starts my program, he often says, “I am here because I lose control of myself sometimes. I need to get a better grip.” I always correct him: "Your problem is not that you lose control of yourself, it’s that you take control of your partner. In order to change, you don’t need to gain control over yourself, you need to let go of control of her.””
About This Quote
Source Book: Hold Me Tight, 2009
Control issues stem from trying to dominate others; real change requires releasing control of the partner, not self.
In simple terms: Let go of controlling others.
Key Takeaway
Focus on mutual respect and self-awareness.
Themes
control
relationships
personal growth
boundaries
Mood
empathetic
reflective
Type
therapeutic
inspirational
When to use this quote
- couples therapy
- conflict resolution
- personal boundaries
- relationship building
Key Concepts
attachment theory
psychology
communication
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you practice healthy boundaries?
- What steps help you release the need to control others?
A Different Perspective
May oversimplify complex relational dynamics.
