Abuse Quote by Lundy Bancroft
““Objectification is a critical reason why an abuser tends to get worse over time. As his conscience adapts to one level of cruelty—or violence—he builds to the next. By depersonalizing his partner, the abuser protects himself from the natural human emotions of guilt and empathy, so that he can sleep at night with a clear conscience. He distances himself so far from her humanity that her feelings no longer count, or simply cease to exist. These walls tend to grow over time, so that after a few years in a relationship my clients can reach a point where they feel no more guilt over degrading or threatening their partners than you or I would feel after angrily kicking a stone in the driveway.””
About This Quote
Source Book: Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft, 2002
Abusers protect themselves from guilt by seeing their partners as objects, allowing escalating cruelty without remorse.
In simple terms: Abusers dehumanize victims to avoid guilt.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and challenge dehumanizing thoughts.
Themes
abuse
psychology
empathy
guilt
escalation
Mood
sad
reflective
Type
analytical
educational
When to use this quote
- counseling sessions
- legal testimony
- support groups
- education workshops
Key Concepts
objectification
moral disengagement
cognitive distortion
Questions to Reflect On
- How does seeing a partner as an object affect moral reasoning?
- What steps can break this dehumanization cycle?
A Different Perspective
Victims may internalize blame, making intervention harder.
