Abuse Quote by Lundy Bancroft
““The confusion of love with abuse is what allows abusers who kill their partners to make the absurd claim that they were driven by the depths of their loving feelings. The news media regrettably often accept the aggressors’ view of these acts, describing them as “crimes of passion.” But what could more thoroughly prove that a man did not love his partner? If a mother were to kill one of her children, would we ever accept the claim that she did it because she was overwhelmed by how much she cared? Not for an instant. Nor should we. Genuine love means respecting the humanity of the other person, wanting what is best for him or her, and supporting the other person’s self-esteem and independence. This kind of love is incompatible with abuse and coercion.””
About This Quote
Source Book: “The Verbally Abusive Relationship” by Lundy Bancroft, 2005
Love that respects autonomy and dignity cannot coexist with abusive control; conflating the two harms victims.
In simple terms: True love respects freedom; abuse is not love.
Key Takeaway
Separate love from control.
Themes
relationships
abuse
psychology
media perception
Mood
concerned
analytical
Type
educational
advocacy
When to use this quote
- counseling
- media analysis
- legal advocacy
- education programs
Key Concepts
power dynamics
empathy
ethical storytelling
Questions to Reflect On
- How can we teach healthy love?
- What role does media play in shaping perceptions?
A Different Perspective
May overlook systemic factors that enable abuse.
