Best Dennis Miller Quotes
- Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi. Andy
- Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes! Chrissakes
- He lasted about as long as the dessert tray at Rosie O'Donnell's house. Dessert
- Is it just me, or are the 49ers doing an awful lot of ass-patting today? Ass
- Hey Deion, Bubbelah - maybe you'd better pay a little less attention to those unfairly Draconian salary caps that only allowed you to acquire four… Acquire
- Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks. All
- When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb. Cuneiform
- Check out the helmet hair on Randy Moss, babe! He looks like some freakish anti-Mr. T after a long evening sleeping through 'Aida.' Anti
- That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena. Berries
- That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So… Arm
- Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island. Fire
- Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story'… Cutlass
- Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets! Delivering
- If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again. Aerobics
- Sometimes you just have the thin the herd. Death Penalty
- Look, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for us to accept… Accept
- Childbirth is a wonderful thing, but the reality is that it can dramatically change a woman's body. SUI occurs when the vaginal wall weakens and… Adequate
- A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've probably made a… Error
- Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble. Anybody
- There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this… Amazingly
- It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film. Film
- Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is… American
- I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I can still tell… Across
- If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago. Ago
- The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel. Bob
More Ways to Read Dennis Miller Quotes
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- Best Dennis Miller Quotations (Dennis Miller Quotes)
- Best Dennis Miller Words (Dennis Miller Quotes)
- Best Dennis Miller Lines (Dennis Miller Quotes)
- Best Dennis Miller Thoughts (Dennis Miller Quotes)