The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. — Dennis Miller Found Copy Share Image
Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer. — Dennis Miller Make Copy Share Image
In the late twentieth century, staying sober has become just as much an addiction as getting wasted. — Dennis Miller Addiction Copy Share Image
Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we? — Dennis Miller Explanation Copy Share Image
I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the… — Dennis Miller Abortion Copy Share Image
Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the… — Dennis Miller Assuming Copy Share Image
Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a… — Dennis Miller Bars Copy Share Image
You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven. — Dennis Miller Eating Copy Share Image
Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids… — Dennis Miller Ask me Copy Share Image
Yeah, this country's founding fathers are a bunch of dead rich white men, but they did set things up so you could… — Dennis Miller Bowls Copy Share Image
Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people - being full of… — Dennis Miller Coins Copy Share Image
Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator — Dennis Miller Als Copy Share Image
The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country. — Dennis Miller Becoming Copy Share Image
Is it just me, or are the 49ers doing an awful lot of ass-patting today? — Dennis Miller Ass Copy Share Image
The ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now:… — Dennis Miller America Copy Share Image
Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so… — Dennis Miller Cash Copy Share Image
That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena. — Dennis Miller Berries Copy Share Image
Campaign analysts say that Dean has produced the most innovative web site in this year's presidential race. I particularly like today's blog,… — Dennis Miller Analysts Copy Share Image
It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he… — Dennis Miller Band Copy Share Image
The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get… — Dennis Miller Ass Copy Share Image
For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure… — Dennis Miller Car Copy Share Image
