Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women. — Christopher Moore Attraction Copy Share Image
Most of us don't live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we're a whole bunch of selves. — Christopher Moore Bunch Copy Share Image
“I want to be Moses.” “You can’t.” “Why not?” “I have the stick.” “Oh.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I try to stick to one, single rule, “If you don’t have anything to say, shut the fuck up.” I think that’s… — Christopher Moore Bible Copy Share Image
“Jody noticed that the kid was focused on the breasts, which were defying gravity, and apparently death itself, by standing there at… — Christopher Moore Christopher-moore Copy Share Image
“(I bring food and drink to the guards when they are on post during feasts. I believe it is written in the… — Christopher Moore Food and drink Copy Share Image
Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal… — Christopher Moore Deals Copy Share Image
“True, I am drunk, and small, and damp, but mistake not my moistness for weakness, although there's an argument to be made… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
So I am death" Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast. "This is death toast sweety. — Christopher Moore Charlie Copy Share Image
Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest… — Christopher Moore Earnest Copy Share Image
“She have to go pick up prescription, so I watch Sophie for short time. And tiny bears are happy when I go… — Christopher Moore A-dirty-job Copy Share Image
“You see," I explained to Joshua, "what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that's not her intent. That's the difference between irony… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Oh, and a huge Federal Building that looked like it was being molested by a giant steel pterodactyl, but evidently that was… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Do we still have to floss?" Tommy asked. "I mean, what's the point of being immortal if we have to floss? — Christopher Moore Immortal Copy Share Image
Confucius is like the Torah, rules to follow. And Lao-Tzu is even more conservative, saying that if you do nothing you won't… — Christopher Moore Action Copy Share Image
“A wall is a defense of a country that values inaction. But a wall imprisons the people of a country as much… — Christopher Moore Freedom Copy Share Image
“Animals might put up with that smiley shit, but people will eventually kill you for it.” — Christopher Moore Animals Copy Share Image
“I'll bet he was myrrh. Bastard, he brings the cheapest gift and now he wants to sodomize me.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“She had a lot of nerve signing her note "Love." [...] But she did sign it that way: "Love." What did that… — Christopher Moore Bloodsucking-fiends Copy Share Image
Sometimes this high-tech world calls for low-tech solutions. — Christopher Moore Lows Copy Share Image
Kayso, it turns out that driving an actual car is way harder than it is in 'Grand Theft Auto: Zombie Hooker Smackdown. — Christopher Moore Car Copy Share Image
“Latin, Greek, and English, plus a smattering of Italian and fucking French.” “Fucking French, you say? Well . . .” “Oui,” said I, in… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
