Stop Eating Quotes by Louis C. K

Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.

— Louis C. K

I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to…

— Louis C. K

I can feel how an audience is reacting when I'm on a stage, but when you are on stage, your perception is distorted. That's…

— Louis C. K

“You need to develop the ability to just be yourself and not be doing something, that's what the phones are taking away. The ability…

— Louis C. K

I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die.

— Louis C. K

I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning.

— Louis C. K

There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I…

— Louis C. K

“A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing…

— Louis C. K

When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way…

— Louis C. K

You have to be really tenacious. You have to keep at it. There are many roads to get there. If you can get yourself…

— Louis C. K

When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.

— Louis C. K

I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot…

— Louis C. K

There's no way you ask Sean Penn a question and then, you're gonna be HUGE !

— Louis C. K

If you had a jetpack you'd be like I have the shittiest jetpack. Who's your service provider on your jetpack? Did they make the…

— Louis C. K

I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.

— Louis C. K