We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Twenty-two astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?" - Stephen… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Last night was Super Tuesday - a 10-state GOP Primary orgy. A big, sweaty pile of lever-yankin Republican voters. And like most… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today? This rainbow… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
After nearly 15 minutes of soul searching, I have heard the call. Nation, I will seek the office of the president of… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
One day,I might be able to tell my grandkids I interviewed the last president of the United States. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
We have this idea in our mind that there's a separation of church and state in America, which I think is a… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
TV's Tony Snow becomes the White House press secretary. How will he make the difficult transition from Fox News reporter to Republican… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to believe. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“Unlike Paul Newman, who seems to think that salad dressing is the cure-all for America's ills, I'm a man of action.” — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
