Selling pot allowed me to get through college and make enough money to start off in comedy. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Jesus is not a candle. A company in South Dakota is selling candles with the scent of Jesus. You light one and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Democrats are very bad at selling their own product. The Republicans are geniuses at it. And I've said it before, a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If anybody is so mad at Vladimir Putin, you know what they could do? They could advocate for a gas tax. He… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The other guys are selling certainty. Not me. I'm on the corner with doubt. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
