POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made; . . . also for bread. The French are… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition. 'I was in the drawing-room, enjoying my dinner,'… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
INTERPRETER, n. One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
A pessimist asked God for relief. Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness, said God. No, replied the petitioner,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
