The very existence of the bicycle is an offense to reason and wisdom. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think it's always easy to be sympathetic to parts of the government in detail; in their concrete manifestations. Because obviously, we… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
As a result of that, and as a result of friendship, I don't think we've ever been competitive. I mean, there's probably… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The divorce rate in 1946 was higher than it ever had been and as high as it ever would be until the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's a very good reason that governments aren't supposed to compete with private-enterprise companies. Governments have monopolies on certain things, like eminent… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I spend my days kneeling in the muck of language, feeling around for gooey verbs, nouns, and modifiers that I can squash… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The main reason to be opposed to political control of smoking is to keep power -even the smallest and silliest kind of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We are a nation that worships speed and power. And for good reason. Without power we would still be part of England… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The larger the German body, the smaller the German bathing suit and the louder the German voice issuing German demands and German… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Iraq's invasion of Kuwait is a case of bad men doing wrong things for wicked reasons. This is the full-sized or standard… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. Being a Republican, I'm backing… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The preamble to the Constitution states: "We, the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
![“As a result of that, and as a result of friendship, I don't think we've ever been competitive. I mean, there's probably a very good reason Hunter [S. Thompson] isn't jealous of me.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/715/p-j-o-rourke-184_friendship_as-a-result-of-that-and-as-a-result-of-f_683610.jpg)
