The mother may be doing ninety percent of the disciplining, but the father still must have a full-time acceptance of all the… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
If you have one of the worst schools in the city, then chances are the teachers are not going to care for… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
My mother comes in my room and says, "Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!" Now, I've already been… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
My father wanted me to play pro football, and he didn't like the fact that I'd left school. And he said, "It… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Emotionally, a person can become so negatively driven that they don't respect the privilege of being on this Earth without their mother… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
We've got too many young girls, who don't know how to parent, turning themselves into parents. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
We are all anxious to be accepted. But if you have a strong mother and father who tell you that you don't… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
A father... knows exactly what those boys at the mall have in their depraved little minds because he once owned such a… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
On many young actors that don't give their parents proper credit: I'm still waiting for some actor to win, say, an Oscar...… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, I love children because they're… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
It doesn't make any difference how much money a father earns, his name is always Dad-Can-I.... Like all other children, my five… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
What kept me out of trouble is going right to the edge and then... thinking that my mother would be embarrassed, and… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with...That is an… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
My father walked to school 4 o'clock every morning with no shoes on, uphill, both ways, in 5 feet of snow and… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Calculus is one course you can come with to your parents and say, I am dropping it. And they'll understand. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Guys standing around and talking about Spanish fly: 'You know anything about Spanish fly?' 'No, tell me about it.' Well there's this girl Crazy… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job...Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
God has a sense of humor though and he must see funny things in us. He must also have some love. We're still here… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
