Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If I were a congressman who had voted for the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004, I'd claim it was forced on… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The killjoys initiated automobile crash standards so rigorous that we can't buy a car that hasn't been dropped from the top of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If we were to inspect ourselves or members of our family and our friends, we would see that we don't really have… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Our earliest evidence of government, in the ruins of Babylon and Egypt, shows nothing but ziggurats and pyramids of wasted taxpayer money,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We print journalists are victims of economic forces beyond our control. We were as surprised as everyone else was by the sudden… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that's when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Even the dumber parts of our government are not run by idiots. These are ordinary people like us, doing a job. By… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Our regulatory bodies strive to create honest dealings, fair trades, and a situation in which no one has an advantage over anyone… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
