I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.' — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Trust me, there's not one night a week I'm not in a theater somewhere. I adore theater, and I go out with… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Any comic is a very good actor. Look at Don Rickles. He is saying the same joke every night for 20 years… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Everyone forgets comedians are actors. There's no question about it. A Robin Williams cannot say the same line every night for 40… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I have no boobs whatsoever. On my wedding night my husband said, 'Let me help you with those buttons' and I told… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
