No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. I never forget a face, but in… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image