My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow... he wasn't evil or… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Of all the American educational system's problems, none is more severe than the academic year beginning before Labor Day. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Toledo is better than exciting, it's happy. Because nothing is more conducive to unhappiness than taking yourself seriously, and taking yourself seriously… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The laws of the marketplace are physical laws, and they don't become suspended in a crisis any more than the law of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In Henry Adams, I discovered not only the prototype of the modern thinker but also someone who is more interesting: a viper-toothed,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My working hypothesis is that stupidity in popular culture is a constant. Popular culture cannot get more stupid. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Adam Smith pointed out that there were three things that make us more prosperous, in a general sort of way: freedom to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The more aspects of life that can be moved from private reign to public realm, the better it is for politics. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
