You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I am so tired of rearranging my life around what the stupidest people might do. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Attorney General John Ashcroft is in intensive care. He's suffering from a severe case of pancreatitis, which they can't really figure out… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: If you still think Obama is a Muslim, you just might be a redneck. A Christian church in South Carolina… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They're DEFINITELY GAY!! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sarah Palin said perhaps the most irresponsible thing I've ever heard any politician say. She said, 'The only thing that stops a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
My thinking is, government is really there to do the things that people absolutely can't do for themselves. And that's mostly involved… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
