The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The purpose of the Senate is to keep 100 middle aged knuckleheads out of the private sector where they can do real harm. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America is the world's policeman, all right -- a big, dumb, mick flatfoot in the middle of the one thing cops dread… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Greenpeace booth at all the rock and roll shows nowadays are akin to the old sorcerers who used to stand in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I arrived in the middle of a press conference - as boring a thing to sit through if you don't know the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's no telling what might have happened to our defense budget if Saddam Hussein hadn't invaded Kuwait that August and set everyone… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Then basically what was happening was that it was the middle '80s, and Rolling Stone realized that a lot of their readers… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State's registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The baby boomers' politics have covered a wide band of silliness, from the Weather Underground to the Timothy McVeigh types. The great… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Iraq's invasion of Kuwait is a case of bad men doing wrong things for wicked reasons. This is the full-sized or standard… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image