Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You may be surprised to discover you're rich, especially if you're broke. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There are two factors in American politics that may seem strange to Europeans: race and religion. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Tom DeLay may or may not have broken campaign finance laws, but he did his best to look like he was breaking… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
What is obnoxious about the motives of politicians - whatever those motives may be - is that politicians must announce their motives… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Good manners can replace morals. It may be years before anyone knows if what you are doing is right. But if what… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Men generally pay for all expenses on a date ... either sex, however, may bring a little gift, its value to be… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn't exactly advocate letting lice live with… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Humans have trouble with economics, as you may have noticed, and not just because economic circumstances sometimes cause them to starve. Humans… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having a party and telling all their friends.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Some taxpayers may object to a print journalism bailout on the grounds that it mostly benefits the liberal elite. And we can't… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When government does, occasionally, work, it works in an elitist fashion. That is, government is most easily manipulated by people who have… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
