John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important,… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
![“[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/0f1/groucho-marx-788_1930s_he-may-talk-like-an-idiot-and-look-like_1140430.jpg)
![“He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that is. You see, Pop never used a tape measure. He didn't believe in it. He said he could just look at a man and tell hi.” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg)
