“I feel like I’m late for love. I’ll be 30 in March. Damn it! I knew I should have set my alarm… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is when you love someone’s spirit as much as their body, even if their spirit has departed and their body is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A love like mine is rare. So is the steak I just sent back to the kitchen. But you’d damn well better… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make love with the accuracy of Joe Montana, and from a distance of up to 100 yards.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Thirty three thousand, three hundred and thirty three things. That’s all I need to get by. Oh, and I guess I also… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I often wonder how far I’d go for love. I guess it all depends on the price of gas. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I found love in the arms of another woman. Who needs two legs, a torso, or talking? ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The greatest thing in the world is love. But the worst isn’t hate, it’s ignoringance.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You can’t steal what no man owns. Like my love, for example. It’s owned exclusively by women.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We made a good team, you and I, and I thought we were in love, but… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have a recognition dance, to acknowledge that I heard and understood you. So when Savannah says she loves me, and I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“With my last breath, I’ll exhale my love for you. I hope it’s a cold day, so you can see what you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Flower coffee—less caffeinated, more romantic. I wanted to be with her, but when I was, I felt like I’d rather wither.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My #love stories have happy endings, because I stop the tales before dejection, dementia, and death occur.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You’d never been in an elevator before, and I’d never been in love. I said I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you rearrange the letters of “love,” you get “ovel.” I don’t know what an ovel is, but I know what it… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is something to be cherished, like the toy at the bottom of a box of cereal. And just as a warning,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to show you how much I love you. Well, maybe not a whole brick, but certainly a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love fell in love with another word, do you think that word would smell, taste, and rhyme with it? I think… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Borrowing from Pythagoras, I’ve worked out the equation to a love triangle: A2 + B2 = C other people.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love were a gesture, I don’t think it would be a gyrating pelvis. But then again, I could be wrong, as… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
