“Wrapped inside one is love. Wrapped inside another is hate. What do you think is wrapped inside the third? If you answered… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while “decorating” my ex girlfriend’s front yard.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love looked like a deer, smelled like a deer, and ran like a deer, then I wouldn't passively wait for it… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If counting is thinking, then the longest I’ve ever thought about any one subject continuously for is 127, 983 seconds. I might… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sometimes love feels thinner, even though it’s the same width as before.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love were a glove, I’d wear it on my foot like a goldfish in a silver mine. Ten dimes is too… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: What is the price of love, and would you rather tally it with an abacus or an early… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Never sit on a freshly painted bench, or stand on a wet wall. That’s a lesson in love I had to learn… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am the kangaroo of love. Do you question it? You can take your skepticism and stuff it straight down my pouch.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“As early as 1,000 BC, man had to wait nearly 3,000 years to talk to me. And my first words to the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make love with my eyes closed, because I make love in my dreams. If you wanted to go for seconds, we… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you were to ask me what kind of musical sound I aspire to produce, that noise would be a wet nipple… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Woman, I could drown in your love, but I’d much rather be strangled. More passionate, don’t you agree?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love has a sound, if you know what to listen for. It sounds like silence, surrounded by blindness. It’s the Helen Keller… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I never stopped loving you. I never did. I never loved you, not: I never did stop loving you.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am the food of love. And do you know what food that is? Distilled barley.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is patient and love is kind. Damn! Why’d it have to be the two qualities I wasn’t born with?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to trap my love in, before it dissipates out into the world. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m building a hot air balloon out of my love for you. I’m starting with the hot air, and then I’m going… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“One time a woman made my heart flood with love, and then fled the scene of the subsequent boating accident. Many people… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is like a buffalo with butterfly wings, and I’m just the humble man in the jetpack trying to shoot it down… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make conversation like I make love to myself—I let my hands do all the talking.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
