Every time [Rand Paul] opens his mouth, it gets a little crazier. Today he angrily demanded that the liberal media stop quoting… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Officials believe that one of the terrorists was a woman. And there are female suicide bombers. It's just that their reward in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be a comedian, even when I was a little kid. I had a funny father who was in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Trump is a little tone-deaf to the average American. He unveiled his slogan this week: 'Are you better off than you were… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People, especially the liberals, just live in this world where if anything is said that offends anybody even a little bit, not… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Edward Snowden gave a little press conference today. He is apparently seeking temporary asylum in Russia. Because, you know, when you're tired… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It's a little strange when you have never been to war, and you eye-roll about a guy who's got shrapnel still in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Disneyland's a mess. And it's not just the measles. Donald Duck has bird flu. Pocahontas has small pox. The Little Mermaid has… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Politicians will promise some pretty ridiculous things. They will promise a chicken in every pot. They'll promise that they'll keep Social Security… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
All I'm saying, as a fan, is I'm tired of the same song for 30 years. Can't we change the message a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Arnold was on the 'Today' show today, he was a little light on specifics. He said he could solve California's $38 billion… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I have such disdain for anybody who gets joy out of blowing the stuffing out of a little woodland creature, that I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You can't lie to kids about drugs. They know about drugs. You can't say they're just all bad. They know life is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When I hear from people that religion doesn't hurt anything, I say really? Well besides wars, the crusades, the inquisitions, 9-11, ethnic… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: If an Evangelical tries to use Halloween to pimp Jesus to kids, they get to egg his house. On Halloween,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I kid Fox News, but they may be a little biased. We had an earthquake here on Monday, and they reported that… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
![“Every time [Rand Paul] opens his mouth, it gets a little crazier. Today he angrily demanded that the liberal media stop quoting him in context.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/d55/bill-maher-211_liberal-media_every-time-rand-paul-opens-his-mouth-it_282789.jpg)
![“The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America would just blunder around the Middle East killing people without all the facts. That doesn't sound like the America I know.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a1c/bill-maher-211_america_the-libyan-rebels-this-week-kind-of-hint_1095970.jpg)
