Ronald Reagan came from show business. His idea of how the government should help the homeless was like your agent. "We'll try… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People who don't like you almost never come up to you. That's a lot of years of saying things that I know… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: You're never going to pick up women at a coffee shop pretending to be working on your laptop. You don't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Don't wear bacon cologne. If you put on...you know what? Screw it. Wear it. If you are the type of guy who… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
