President Obama is coming under criticism now for not meeting with his jobs council. He hasn't met with his jobs council in… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday Gary Condit spent the whole day attending an agricultural meeting. Boy, that's when you know a congressman's in real trouble: when… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Genetic scientists say that one day it will be possible to grow new body parts, like new breasts and new hands. It's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The healthcare reform bill now includes a tanning booth tax of 10 percent. You know what this means? This whole thing could… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to the British Journal of Psychiatry, marijuana can cause panic attacks. I don't know . . . The only time I… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you all know by now, Barack Obama sent out a cell phone text message at 3 a.m. on Saturday morning to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You know what is interesting, Condit is very conservative. He voted to post the ten commandments in schools. Yet, he himself broke… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Usain Bolt won the gold for the men's 100- and 200-meter dashes for the second Olympics in a row. You know, he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As if this whole thing isn't confusing enough, election officials announced this week that the alphabet on the ballot will begin with… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Arnold said this is a last minute attack by Democrats. How did Arnold know to grope only Democrats? — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
When a candidate walks away from a reality show, that's when you know they're serious about being president of the United States. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You know who Boehner is, right? He's that orange looking guy. See, for Republicans that counts as diversity. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I was watching Discovery Channel the other day, and you know that they have come up with a new theory about how… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A new study says that working fewer hours can slow global warming. So you know what that means? President Obama's economic policy… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You know what you call the two winners of that $580 million PowerBall lottery? ... Former Democrats — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Services were held today for Ken Lay - convicted thief and crook Ken Lay.They folded his arms across his chest and sowed… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
This Tony Haywire guy, whatever his name is, he told the BBC on Sunday that he believes the new oil cap that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The first Olympic Games were held in 776 BC. Do you know who lit the flame? Betty White. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama flew to a rally in Las Vegas last night. However, he did not visit any of the casinos. You know… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, President-elect Barack Obama and his family are gonna spend the holidays in his home state of Hawaii. And you know who… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush went out touting his economic record in Ohio last week. Now this is a state that lost 225,000 jobs since… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
With Halloween coming this weekend, they say not one person in the country is planning to dress up as Governor Sarah Palin.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
