I always make the joke that I go home, to one of my homes, to go and do laundry so I can… — Hugh Masekela Copy Share Image
Dealing with in-laws is like walking down a dark hallway with a bucket of industrial-strength glue sitting in the shadows. If you're… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm never worried about a joke being 'too provocative.' There's no such thing. — Matt Rife Copy Share Image
“Sometimes you feel as though you've slandered yourself, but the joke's on them.” — Criss Jami Copy Share Image
Some comedy has turned into, 'Donald Trump's bad, isn't he?' That's a true statement. But where is your joke? — Michelle Wolf Copy Share Image
Prior to 'Tokyo Drift,' the iconic perception of Asians in Hollywood films has been either the Kung Fu guy, the Yakuza guy… — Sung Kang Copy Share Image
Dad liked to self-deprecatingly joke about his career, but Ernie Johnson was a pretty darn good relief pitcher. — Ernie Johnson Jr Copy Share Image
I think I am just bad mannered on the pitch like I can be bad on the pitch, I don't need to… — Victor Wanyama Copy Share Image
I always joke around and say my lifestyle is kind of like James Bond. — Bruce Buffer Copy Share Image
My biggest superhero of writing is Jorge Luis Borges, the Argentine fabulist. He's an amazingly perceptive writer, but also willing to make… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke would pop into my head and I would have to… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
The most surprising thing - and the thing I really didn't think I would have an opportunity to do when I was… — Danielle Macdonald Copy Share Image
I was at Facebook in 2012, during the previous presidential race. The fact that Facebook could easily throw the election by selectively… — Antonio Garcia Martinez Copy Share Image
Humor has the tendency to be funny once. If I tell you a joke, we're going to have a big laugh. But… — Marcel Wanders Copy Share Image
What I've said before, only half in joke, is that everybody in Ireland is famous. Or, maybe better, say everybody is familiar. — Seamus Heaney Copy Share Image
Part of my writing style can be attributed to my mother's impatience with comedy, because whenever I told her a story she… — Patricia Marx Copy Share Image
A white couple gets a black child. Angry husband asks- You white, Me white. Why is baby black? Wife- You hot, Me… — AB Copy Share Image
It can be embarrassing being associated with a character like Finchy - people naturally assume you're just like him. Some people come… — Ralph Ineson Copy Share Image
“He smiled proudly at the machine Ephraim was staring at. "That's our Coheron Drive. Isn't she beautiful? I helped build her." Ephraim… — E.C. Myers Copy Share Image
Talking-head shows are just a camera, a sound guy, and then a PA writing down what you say and a producer asking… — Nicole Byer Copy Share Image
There's always been a quiet conversation and joke that if you're not hard, if you're not from impoverished neighborhoods, if you're not… — Chance The Rapper Copy Share Image
One day I'll bring a biography of my life out and that will be the biggest joke I'll ever tell. — James Buckley Copy Share Image
