Joke Quotes · Page 41

Yeah I may..laugh a lot, joke around a lot.. but, inside of me, its breaking… yet, nobody can tell..

— Ritu Ghatourey

“Welcome to Level 2. Or, as it is sometimes affectionately referred to by the Friends: God's Little Joke.”

— H.M. Forester

I'll go through many things for you. Let's start with your bank account.

— Anonymous

“I made a joke today, and I made it out of pennies. It was a very poor joke.”

— Jarod Kintz

Slavery is nothing to joke about. The history of this nation's involvement with slavery is nothing to pass off in a joke.

— Douglas Wilder

“Caleb fed me better food during my kidnapping than these people. I laugh at my own joke”

— C.J. Roberts

You learn what can become a good joke and can be repeatable. You have a shorthand about how to introduce a joke…

— Lennon Parham

I tried taking everything in Life with a grain of salt, but after using up two bags of salt, I gave up.

— Hussein Nishah

The biggest difference between the two is how intimate the theatre is. Film is so different because, when youre on set, even…

— Renee Rapp

My mother doesn't cook; my grandmother didn't cook. Her kids were raised by servants. They would joke about Sunday night dinner. It…

— Katharine Weymouth

ICG became a dot-com joke, a one-stock example of extreme hubris on the part of its management and the investment bankers and…

— Adam Lashinsky

The nature of comedy is 'just do it.' But I think what's interesting about it is this joke has been around and…

— Bob Saget

I have this famous joke that I use: Why was God able to create Heaven and Earth in seven days and seven…

— Brad D. Smith

I joke, but I'm sort of serious: I've always wanted to get into a fight. I know that sounds horrible, but I…

— Juliana Harkavy

Often when you're filming comedy and you've done six or seven takes, the joke's been done and you know you're gonna have…

— Jim Howick

My first job was selling doors, door to door. That's a tough job isn't it? Bing Bong; Hello, can I interest you…

— Bill Bailey

Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I…

— Mike Birbiglia

I've said things that, now, I wish I hadn't said because times have changed and like the me of 15-20 years ago…

— Paul F. Tompkins

Death seems to be a long way off. Is this not shallow thinking? It is worthless and is only a joke within…

— Yamamoto Tsunetomo

There is a painful joke that Europeans often tell of their Gallic neighbors: God created France, the most beautiful country in the…

— Janine di Giovanni

“I’m relieved to see that even brilliant physicists make mistakes.” Kohler looked over. “What do you mean?” “Whoever wrote that note made…

— Dan Brown

A guy goes to a local novelty shop and finds a pair of x-ray glasses. He checks them out, and isnt fully…

— Theophilus

What people who don't write don't understand is that they think you make up the line consciously — but you don't. It…

— Woody Allen

There's a joke about the balloon boy who has a balloon mum and a balloon dad and he goes to a balloon…

— Gabrielle Williams

Have you considered the option of getting the joke? If not, try it now and redeem your soul.

— Erik Naggum

“Besides, if you're sick, I'm on life support. As wrong as that joke is.”

— Lia Habel

I am a fan of whatever makes me laugh my ass off. If it happens to be a Jew joke, then it's…

— Alex Borstein

“When will someone write from the point of view of a joke, that is to say the way God sees events from…

— Flaubert Gustave

“If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime.”

— Jon Stewart

“You must learn to take a joke, Francie, otherwise life will be pretty hard on you.”

— Betty Smith

Crusaders have just f-ked me over what a bas-rd joke, excuse my language I'm absolutely furious.

— Keith Senior

... she, that will with kittens jest, Should bear a kitten's joke.

— William Cowper

Is anything wrong, dear? the old joke went. No, why? You moved. Just don't move.

— Margaret Atwood

It's very gratifying sometimes to make yourself the butt of the joke because it bursts your bubble.

— John Bishop

“We seldom look up to the person; we usually look up to their persona.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I do like a joke too, in my own way, but I'm someone who likes to work away in peace.

— Douglas Costa

With comedic actors, you can write one joke or two jokes, sample dialogue, and they have the capacity to extrapolate.

— Sam Seder

Sometimes, IGNORANCE is much better than to respond at someone's nonsense JOKE.

— Ziel JL

Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here's the bad news. You just wasted it listening to this joke.

— Conan O'Brien

That awkward moment when all of your friends are laughing about a joke and you still don't get it.

— Anonymous