Joke Quotes · Page 42

I'm not a yes person, whether it's about a tie choice or a joke.

— Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? oh wait never mind you'll never get it

— Anonymous

You can joke about anything. It just depends on your angle and the way you go about it.

— Richard Herring

The fact is, the Middle East has been going crazy for 50, 60, 70 years. So it's not like, 'Oh, I need…

— Maz Jobrani

If there's something tender going on like that, I can't make up a joke and put it on Twitter.

— Lucy Beaumont

Me and my friends used to joke about the fact that you don't see a Black man on a horse.

— Rege-Jean Page

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.

— Mitch Hedberg

“Not me,” said Jimmy, trying to joke. “I don’t have a price.” Wrong, as usual.”

— Margaret Atwood

People think I'll kill you if you make a joke. I compare it to Clint Eastwood. I've only seen Clint Eastwood in…

— Ice T

I have some bad feet. But really, my main fault would probably be my personality. A lot of times, I am not…

— Tim Hudson

“...if you think the worst you'll get the worst, but if you think the best..." "and then everything will blow up in…

— Brad Meltzer

“I'll never miss a chance to remind you of what a brat you were. A gloriously beautiful and very spoiled brat. I…

— Robin Hobb

My writers on 'Liv And Maddie' have started a running joke to try and sneak as many 'literally's into the script as…

— Dove Cameron

If my dog wants to know why I didn't feed him this morning, he may want to rethink walking out of the…

— Dana Gould

A joke is either funny or it's not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh,…

— Alonzo Bodden

There was a joke going around campus when I was at Washington State. It went, 'What's the difference between God and Ryan…

— Ryan Leaf

“I'm going out with Colin Osgood today, and he's meeting me here. If you start making kissy noises, I will strip you…

— Sarah Addison Allen

[There's] a joke that I've done forever: 'Nowadays they say that the largest majority of people will be Latino and you'll tell…

— George Lopez

I guess I've kind of recognized what my worth is and what my specific brand of humor is. And that's not necessarily…

— Dave Franco

I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, "Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro!" I don't know if that's the…

— Bo Burnham

My father was always pushing me to become a basketball player. In Africa, when you're a kid, every kid loves to play…

— Serge Ibaka

I've noticed, as a comedy fan, that I really like Paul Thomas Anderson or Quentin Tarantino because when they're funny, they're actually…

— Paul Rust

“This is a joke. Right?” I’m pointing at the green-screen terminal on the desk, and the huge dial-infested rotary phone beside it.…

— Charles Stross

With a live audience, it's very clear when you've pushed it too far to the edge - because you fall off that…

— Michael Patrick King

When I make a joke, nobody gets injured... when Congress makes a joke, it's the law.

— Will Rogers

We need to get rid of the Federal Elections Commission. It's a joke. It doesn't enforce the law.

— Russ Feingold

I crack jokes all the time. Even when I have a fight, I will make a joke, and people will laugh.

— Nargis Fakhri

JOKE is invented to make you laugh. But sometimes it can be a good reason to make you fall in love. ¥

— Angelita Lim

We feel that what's too far is when you make a joke and somebody gets hurt.

— Bobby Farrelly

Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.

— Muhammad Ali

We can't laugh again again on the same joke,then Y do we cry again again for the same problem pain

— Babloo

There is a standard joke in the family. Probably we should go into selling second-hand shoes.

— Ferdinand Marcos

You can dissect a joke just as you can a frog. But it tends to die on you.

— E. B. White

When the joke is on you, your sense of humour gets a reality check.

— Nikhil Saluja

Me and the Rock do look a lot alike, and we're a similar build - that was a joke, by the way.

— Alex Wolff

I learned how fast you can go from being an international hero to being a reference in a joke on a late…

— Michael Phelps

“We are sometimes dragged into a pit of unhappiness by someone else’s opinion that we do not look happy.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.

— Gilbert K. Chesterton

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke…

— Garrison Keillor

Some people will go for the quick joke and not pay attention to the consequences.

— John Ross Bowie