Ability Quote by Garrison Keillor

“You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy.”

Garrison Keillor

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More by Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Garrison Keillor

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The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think…

Garrison Keillor

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God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.

Garrison Keillor

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Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.

Garrison Keillor

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This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.

Garrison Keillor

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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our…

Garrison Keillor

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On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see,…

Garrison Keillor

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“The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.”

Garrison Keillor

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English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.

Garrison Keillor

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“If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.”

Garrison Keillor

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“The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”

Garrison Keillor

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I don't want them to be told to remember me.

Garrison Keillor

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Explore all 304 Garrison Keillor quotes

More Ability quotes

I don't think there's a direct correlation between my sexuality and my skiing ability. But I think because I was so concerned about it…

Gus Kenworthy

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Ambition drives you on, ability certainly helps, but the fickle finger of fate and luck are great things.

Fergus Henderson

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The ability of the gospel to unite us on common strengths and common truths is one of the great miracles . . . of the gospel.

Jeffrey R. Holland

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Maybe law enforcement would like the ability to turn on the camera on your Mac.

Tim Cook

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I've seen guys come along with more ability - they've been faster or bigger or stronger - but they never worked hard to develop…

Steve Largent

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The youth of India has the strength to move the entire World with a click of a mouse, we have generated that ability!

Narendra Modi

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Time hath not yet so dried this blood of mine, Nor age so eat up my invention, Nor fortune made such havoc of my…

William Shakespeare

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An absolutely necessary part of a writer's equipment, almost as necessary as talent, is the ability to stand up under punishment, both the punishment…

Irwin Shaw

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I'd be more frightened by not using whatever abilities I'd been given. I'd be more frightened by procrastination and laziness.

Denzel Washington

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Bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Take what I cannot give: my heart, body, thoughts, time, abilities, money, health, strength,…

Elizabeth Prentiss