I mean, so what if it's a little dangerous? A one-armed kid is comedy gold. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If Democrats want to start winning elections in this country, they're going to have to start connecting with voters as well as… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I could be one if I wanted to, I'm just way too overqualified for a job that simple. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Eight gold medals? If I wanted I could make a movie about me winning nine gold medals. Now that's real power. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
In a perfect world, everybody would be gay. I mean if everybody looked like Zach Braff, you just wouldn't be able to… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn't send me here just once. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
People have always wondered what my opinion on Stevie Wonder is. I say if he's so great how come he can't see?… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
You always see actors complaining about being typecast and ruining their career. Really, I don't see the point in complaining. If the… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Over half a century on and they're still complaining about it. Compare it to the fact that Garden State didn't win an… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
You know, I think there should be a Zach Braff Day. We could have it on December 25th and then people can… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I mean, I know thousands of people died and everything, but if it happened today, there's just no excuse. They'd be much… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I tried it a few times but didn't see the point. I'm Zach Braff. What the fudge do I need a team… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it.… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If we're going to solve the problems in North Korea, the first thing we're going to have to do is start helping… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Working on 'Scrubs' made me feel guilty because I realized that if I had decided to become an actual doctor, instead of… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I think sports are very beneficial in the fight against obesity. I remember playing little league - I was the best person… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Of course I don't use my A-material, it doesn't matter if they think I'm funny or not because they won't be thinking… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I've turned down a lot of proposed scripts for Scrubs episodes, mainly ones with AIDs patients. It sickens me, really. If you… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I don't think it's a black and white issue. If a man's family is starving so to speak, I don't think I'll… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I figure it this way - if a woman claims she didn't want me to fudge her, then you already know she's… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
They don't know I'm staring, what does it matter if I keep on doing it? — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I never go looking for child pornography, but I mean, if somebody sends me an email with some pictures, I'm not going… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I wouldn't say I'm bigger than Jesus. If I had to guess, I'd say probably, yeah, but as far as I know,… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If I wasn't an actor? Hmm, I'd probably be a serial killer. I'm just so damn likeable, no one would ever suspect… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Probably the most memorable even of my life is when I was born. It really made me who I am. If I… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I want to take piano lessons, I want to study at university, I want to travel, I want to do other parts, make another… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
