If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I mean, I know thousands of people died and everything, but if it happened today, there's just no excuse. They'd be much… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Eight gold medals? If I wanted I could make a movie about me winning nine gold medals. Now that's real power. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Working on 'Scrubs' made me feel guilty because I realized that if I had decided to become an actual doctor, instead of… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
They don't know I'm staring, what does it matter if I keep on doing it? — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn't they just… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If I wasn't an actor? Hmm, I'd probably be a serial killer. I'm just so damn likeable, no one would ever suspect… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Now, I'm not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I'll be quite clear. I've never… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Probably the most memorable even of my life is when I was born. It really made me who I am. If I… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
In my opinion, one of the biggest drawbacks about Sergio Leone films are the scores composed by Ennio Morricone. If [Leone] were… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I wouldn't say I'm bigger than Jesus. If I had to guess, I'd say probably, yeah, but as far as I know,… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I never go looking for child pornography, but I mean, if somebody sends me an email with some pictures, I'm not going… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
People always say The God Father is the #1 movie of all time. But ask yourself, did you see Zach Braff in… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
It's not terrible, I guess, but if Ricky Gervais was half as talented as me, maybe the show would actually be funny… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If you're dumb enough to volunteer for the army, I don't see why we're supposed to feel so bad when you get… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I want to take piano lessons, I want to study at university, I want to travel, I want to do other parts, make another… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
