Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Some people just can't handle that they will never be a better actor than me — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point? — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I really do take more vacations than the president. You can quote me on that. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I was originally casted to be in the Superman movie but I read the script and realized that it was mysteriously similar… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Actually, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror years ago. I wasn't making it to work on time. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I like the punch beggers and panhandlers when they ask me for change. I feel like I am doing my part to… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
The only women I publicly date are those who have a higher IMDB rating than me. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I want to take piano lessons, I want to study at university, I want to travel, I want to do other parts, make another… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
