“Be generous with your smile and try not to frown. And you will see my children; your smile will never let you… — Benny Bellamacina Copy Share Image
If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Shortly after I met my mentor he asked me, ‘Mr. Rohn, how much money have you saved and invested over the last… — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
Nobody is excused from the excellence trend. Babies are not excused. Starting right after they get out of the womb, modern babies… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
We worship not the Graces, nor the Parcae, but Fashion. She spins and weaves and cuts with full authority. The head monkey… — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
He's given me enough homework to last ten years. I'm gonna die of nerdism. — Mark A Cooper Copy Share Image
There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Children are nothing but a problem people create and then congratulate themselves on solving.” — Curtis Sittenfeld Copy Share Image
“"If you want that kind of thing, call Nick. His advice is shit, but he really likes to give it.” — Kelley Armstrong Copy Share Image
“Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“The jukebox played some hillbilly tune; steel guitar and emotion-choked moaning...” — Philip K. Dick Copy Share Image
The commies are the only people on earth who think Star Wars will work. If they're that gullible, maybe we should have… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“The door opened, held by the butler, and Lord Montagu swept into the room, his presence overwhelming the space. She could swear… — Angela Quarles Copy Share Image
Flying from the United States to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Writers cleave together like a demonic AA group - we are singularly able to dance with each other's devils...” — Jd Young Copy Share Image
“Listen. Just because we got a mutual hankering, doesn't mean we have to act on it. Aside from the hankering, there isn't… — Maggie Osborne Copy Share Image
The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to determine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises). — Rich Hall Copy Share Image
People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more… — Paul Reiser Copy Share Image
“You know we've got it bad when a naked and gyrating Channing Tatum can't solve our problems.” — Jen Frederick Copy Share Image
There's nothing on it worthwhile, and we're not going to watch it in this household, and I don't want it in your… — Philo Farnsworth Copy Share Image
