When you fall, fake friends smirk and walk away. True friends help you up and ask if you're okay. I am a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“GOD DOESN’T HATE FAGS OR ANYBODY ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. GOD SAVES! THEN, GOD PASSES IT TO GRETZKY - WHO ROOFS THAT… — Kevin Smith Copy Share Image
“Anna shuddered. "Orange is not the colour of seduction, Christopher. Orange is the colour of despair, and pumpkins.” — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“I knew I didn't have much of a chance of getting away from that swarm of fae piranha, but it was an… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Nothing could make me pull away meat-market love goddess. My sexy little filet mignon” — John Corwin Copy Share Image
Before I got addicted to comedy, I was seriously thinking about playing tennis full time. I joined the tennis team and played… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
Ah simple laughter that you trewing on my face. Is a simple karma that you will get for tomorrow.. Ah big clap… — Leodonessiony Copy Share Image
The next best thing to being witty one's self, is to be able to be able to quote another's wit. — Christian Nestell Bovee Copy Share Image
“Nix to Regin: What about that nice leopard-shifter pack that wanted to date you? The benefits of a variety pack of males… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“And what would you like, Sharie?" asked Miss Mush. "What do you have?" asked Sharie. "Potato salad". "What else is there?" asked… — Louis Sachar Copy Share Image
I think there's something funny about people who laugh in the face of convention or surprise us morally. — Phoebe Waller-Bridge Copy Share Image
“I love you, Derek!” Jason tried to drag Haley back to her seat, but she fought him tooth and nail. “I love… — R.L. Mathewson Copy Share Image
Nor would anybody suspect. If was one thing all people took for granted, was conviction that if you feed honest figures into… — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
“See? Injustice. Here we are, risking our lives to rescue Kai and this whole planet, and Adri and Pearl get to go… — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
“Wow wow wow is all I can say! Remember how I always buy lunchtime Scratch-Off ticket? Have I said? Maybe did not… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
“You know Quinn?" Macaulay asked me. "Ten minutes ago I was putting him to bed." Macaulay grinned. "I hope you keep his… — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
“Are you even listening to yourself right now? You sound like you’re from the nineteen hundreds, not the two thousands." I pointed… — Katelin LaMontagne Copy Share Image
In some sort of crude sense, which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin; and… — J. Robert Oppenheimer Copy Share Image
Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
If he's - the inference is that somehow he thinks slavery is a - is a noble institution I would - I… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
