“Another night then,' Mom said. 'Maybe on the weekend we can have a barbecue and invite your sister.' 'Or,' I said turning… — Kelley Armstrong Copy Share Image
“He did his best to explain this to Inspector Sloan afterwards. 'A funny feeling, sir.' 'Yes?' Funny feelings were not encouraged at… — Catherine Aird Copy Share Image
“For their never-ending endeavours to obtain or retain wealth, countries desperately need companies, because they—unlike most human beings—have the means of production,… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
“People who could easily be mistaken as preteens just shouldn’t even try to pull off the look-at-me-I’m-so-serious-and-mysterious-and-sexy look. Especially while driving because,… — Chase Brooks Copy Share Image
I don't think any other emotion is the equivalent of laughter. So I do whatever I can to laugh all the time… — Rashida Jones Copy Share Image
“Disembodied spirits,” said his partner, “are not known to use telephones. Neither are spooks, phantoms, or werewolves.” “That was in the old… — Robert Arthur Copy Share Image
“From what I see, there are only two types of pack members--the hierarchy who are power hungry and the peons who are… — Roxanne Smolen Copy Share Image
The funny thing is, I don't actually think of myself as fat at all. I don't think I am. Not really. — Jo Brand Copy Share Image
Next to being witty yourself, the best thing is being able to quote another's wit. — Christian Nevell Bovee Copy Share Image
You can always tell somebody's sense of humor by if they like this movie or not. — Kurt Russell Copy Share Image
“Some of our friends are our friends only because we used to be friends.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could listen in a cutting way. She could… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. — Bill Nye Copy Share Image
Books are never out of humour; never envious or jealous, they answer all questions with readiness; ... they teach us how to… — Holbrook Jackson Copy Share Image
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
“To this day, all I know is there are between two and four openings down there and that the set up inside… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
