“Don't get mad about the infestation of fleas if you keep shopping at the dog pound.” — Valerie J. Lewis Coleman Copy Share Image
“She told her daughter to never marry for money, the price is too high. But, don't hang out at the trailer park… — Dawn Galland Copy Share Image
It is true that I got recognition. But however good the comedies are, nobody will accept a good comedy director as a… — Priyadarshan Copy Share Image
Social media, and the way the Internet works, you see a lot of funny things. — Nicklas Bendtner Copy Share Image
If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, "Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus." Time to buy… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I've actually always wanted to write like a one-person show that was sort of a romantic comedy - a show that was… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
“I'll meet you outside," I said. No way was I actually doing to shout 'I have to pee' at the top of… — Stella Lennon Copy Share Image
I was 8, and I was probably too young for it, but that's when I started to watch SNL.' That's when I… — Bowen Yang Copy Share Image
“I couldn’t help but notice how hot he looked tonight with his strong build lining his t-shirt. He should never cover his… — Victoria H. Smith Copy Share Image
“The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A lot of female comedians will go up there in a sweatshirt and Converses, trying to dress themselves down, because it is… — Carly Craig Copy Share Image
“If I were Mace Tyrell, I would sooner have Joffrey's head on a pike than his cock in my daughter.” — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
“Regardless of what others may tell you, you only need two Mexican-Americans for a Mexican standoff.” — Alejandra Diaz Mattoni Copy Share Image
I think what's hysterically funny is a guy who sets himself up as the most confident, everything's-perfect, know-it-all, things-are-swell human being and… — Bob Einstein Copy Share Image
“There was an omnivorous intellect that won him the family sobriquet of Walking Encyclopedia.” — Eric Liu Copy Share Image
“-The Lord says to forgive is devine. -The Lord didn't go to high school with you.” — Dakota Cassidy Copy Share Image
Peter Cooper looks at the world with an artist's eye and a human heart and soul. His songs are the work of… — Kris Kristofferson Copy Share Image
Girls express their feelings via TEARS, Boys express their feelings via BEERS. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Her faith in a loving and forgiving God is strong, but she worships laughter. — Miriam Toews Copy Share Image
