My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
I watch an awful lot of television, and I get a little tired of what I see... We have about six television… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
My dad came over to the house... went into his pocket and pulled out a handful of money, and began to pass… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
While fathers are pleasant figureheads, there is a special bond between children and their mothers. 'Do you help your mother clean up… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Guys standing around and talking about Spanish fly: 'You know anything about Spanish fly?' 'No, tell me about it.' Well there's this girl Crazy… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job...Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
God has a sense of humor though and he must see funny things in us. He must also have some love. We're still here… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
