You've forgotten those June nights at the Riviera...the night I drank Champagne from your slipper - two quarts. It would have been… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it - I hear… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
![“He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that is. You see, Pop never used a tape measure. He didn't believe in it. He said he could just look at a man and tell hi.” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg)
