I'm not guaranteeing what we come up with will be better for the planet. There is ethanol, for instance, which actually nets… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Of course, no one wants to ban the vote. Voting should remain available for sporting and recreational purposes. But certain types of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The purpose of the Senate is to keep 100 middle aged knuckleheads out of the private sector where they can do real harm. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is only one basic human right: the right to do as you please, without causing others harm. With it comes our… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The founding fathers, in their wisdom, devised a method by which our republic can take one hundred of its most prominent numbskulls… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If we do our deficit spending on weapons, at least we get weapons. Then if we need weapons, we have them. If… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
