A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees? — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I was born at a very early age. Before I had time to regret it, I was four and a half years… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The admission fee was a viper's tongue and a half-concealed stiletto. It was a sort of intellectual slaughterhouse. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
![“He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that is. You see, Pop never used a tape measure. He didn't believe in it. He said he could just look at a man and tell hi.” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg)
