Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image