Funny Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 33

John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.

— Nikhil Saluja

Men are more likely to be struck by lightening than women. That means no storms occur in a kitchen.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the…

— Nikhil Saluja

Some people are just so good at faking feelings.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A group which consists of: a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two;

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, GOOD, A man who feels in his pockets every time he passes a mailbox

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman say:YOU NEVER LISTEN. Woman means:You never listen.

— Nikhil Saluja

Million dollar idea: A smart phone that doesn't receive phone calls.

— Nikhil Saluja

BOTTLE FEEDING: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

— Nikhil Saluja

Tip: Speak English. Kiss French. Drive German. Dress Italian. Spend Arab. Party Caribbean.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, In Japanese is called Judo -- the art of conquering by yielding. This is the western equivalent of Yes, dear;

— Nikhil Saluja

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

— Nikhil Saluja

A woman is the only hunter who uses herself for bait.

— Nikhil Saluja

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

— Nikhil Saluja

I mention someone, get no replyback, and I'm left feeling like an idiot.

— Nikhil Saluja

Revenge is a dish best served on the boobs a couple of times.

— Nikhil Saluja

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE CEREMONY, a rite which a clergyman should perform at no charge -- don't they say that you shouldn't profit by other…

— Nikhil Saluja

Save me, Jeebus!

— Nikhil Saluja

The funny thing about Twitter is you can subtweet one person and it makes 20 others think it's about them.

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman say:I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE. Woman means:I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out

— Nikhil Saluja

My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got…

— Nikhil Saluja

Justin Beiber? I didn't know I had a little sister.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not sure how I feel about these feelings things.

— Nikhil Saluja