Funny Quotes by John Vercetti

When I'm bored on my day off I like to call in sick to places I don't work for.. Today I'm getting written up…

— John Vercetti

If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 40 told me my generation sucks, then I could afford a house in the economy…

— John Vercetti

The ugly truth about being butt hurt is even if you say you're not, it's obvious that you are

— John Vercetti

There has been times where I thought I was in love...until I came

— John Vercetti

I love the smell of queef in the morning

— John Vercetti

I have a theory that women don't fart, they hold it in until it comes out as drama.

— John Vercetti

O booty calls, booty calls! wherefore art thou booty calls?

— John Vercetti

Being a hoe is kinda like being an alcoholic, once you are one you'll always be considered one, you're either a hoe or a…

— John Vercetti

I don't bother with fancy pick up lines. I just say You're gonna get stabbed: do you want metal or meat?

— John Vercetti

Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.

— John Vercetti

I saw a girl texting and driving the other day and it really pissed me off, so I rolled down my window and threw…

— John Vercetti

Make sure you taste your word's, before you spit'em out.

— John Vercetti