My dog watches me on TV. So, if I may take this opportunity, "No! No! No!" — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I don't talk about my hair anymore because I've matured. I matured and realized it doesn't matter what you look like. It's… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
Im too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I dont know. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
After making love I said to my girl, Was it good for you too? And she said, I don't think this was… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
'The Larry Sanders Show,' it's actually about love, which would sound like a paradox at first. But if that love didn't exist, the darker… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
